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Saturday, June 03, 2006

What Women Want

By Jeff Feldhahn

“So what do you think it means when a woman says she wants security?” I asked a friend.
“It means I can’t ever stop running,” he said. “I need to do whatever it takes to ensure that she doesn’t feel financially insecure. If that means I have to work really long hours or stick with a job I don’t like much, so be it.”
My friend felt a bit trapped, knowing that his wife wanted him to provide a nice life for her and the kids but also wanted him home by dinner. Impossible financial expectations on her part? Perhaps, but probably not. It may be that men are really frustrated by what they think their wives expect, when the women actually have no such expectations. That’s what we found from interviewing over 1,000 wives for our research. Yes, they want security, but women mean something very different by the term than men think.
To a woman, the security that matters most is emotional security: feeling emotionally connected and close to you—that you’re there for her, no matter what. Sure, providing financially is important, but for most women, it’s nowhere near the top of their list. In fact, as one woman said, “It’s not even on the same list!”
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